Relationship Services AGM

Ladies and Gentlemen, I greet you and in the name of the languages of the realm of New Zealand - English, Maori, Cook Island Maori Niuean and Tokelauan:- Kia Ora, Kia Orana, Fakalofa Lahi Atu, Taloha Ni 

In particular may I recognise you as Chair of Relationship Services Board, Louise Waaka; you the Board Members; you the Chief Executive, Jeff Sanders and lastly Invited Guests.

Thank you for inviting me here today to speak at your AGM.

Your work is an area of considerable interest to me, as I will explain and is an area that should be of great interest to all New Zealanders.

That is, in my view, because healthy, functioning relationships are an important foundation for society. They are the building blocks of families, of communities and - ultimately - of our country.

To say this is to be at risk of preaching to the converted. But I think you may agree that all too often, our relationships are under-valued.

This it seems to me is a mistake because when relationships fail all manner of other problems begin.

In former roles as a Judge and even every so often as an Ombudsman, I saw many examples of this deterioration and its ill-effects. The aftermath of failed relationships too often finds a home in the legal system.

Often the Judiciary deals not with criminals, but with people whose relationships have soured and who have, as a result, acted with poor judgement. It is then that a third party is required to solve the problem.

By then however, many relationships are often beyond salvage.

A large part of your service is dedicated to helping strengthen families in need. This is a very important part of what you do and your continued attention to this area is crucial for New Zealand.

We are all too aware of the devastation that serious dysfunction in families can create. Not only today; but for generations within the same family.

New Zealand does not have a good record of domestic violence. It is a serious problem, which our leaders take seriously. But it is also one with no easy fix.

At worst, families end up in a position where members are seriously harmed or killed. It is then that everyone hears about them.

In so many of these cases, relationships have been left to deteriorate over a long time. The final tragedies so often signal many years, even generations, of relationships that have not been nurtured.

What we do not hear about, however, are those relationships which have been saved. We do not hear about those people who have recognised they need help and have sought and have received it.

Your organisation plays an important role in supporting people in their relationships. Not just those at the worst end of the spectrum, but those that need a little outside help to get through difficult times.

Sometimes all that is required is the opportunity to talk with someone who is not directly involved. Someone who can see the situation with fresh eyes and help guide you through the tricky times.

Your work is much more varied than just supporting families though. Your support is available to as many people as you can reach, through as many channels as you can access.

That you supported more than 25,000 people last year is testament to the scale of your service.

Your supportive presence is felt in many ways, by many people. This reflects that relationships in New Zealand are not restricted to any one type of interaction.

Your ability to help people is supported further by your collaboration with many other Government and non-Government organisations working in a variety of fields.

An  experience of my own with Relationship Services illustrates just how varied your work is.

Until April of this year, I spent 16 months chairing the Confidential Forum for Former In-Patients of Psychiatric Hospitals.

I chaired this forum at the request of the Government, which was seeking to add a 'truth and reconciliation' element into dealing with issues that some former patients may wish to raise, affecting their time in a hospital.

It was an opportunity for patients, their families and staff members to formally recall their own experiences in psychiatric institutions - including those who claim to have suffered abuse.

It was a significant legal first for New Zealand. But, by its very nature and subject, it required people to re-live some very traumatic times.

Although the Forum's work is not quite complete I can't speak in any definitive way but I can say that the presence and support of RS counsellors at these sessions was invaluable. I register thanks you for your organisation's involvement in the forum.

Today, in my 88 day-old role as Governor-General, I am already more often witness to the healthy side of relationships, than the unhealthy.

Being privy as I am to the many great achievements of our people, I see the role positive relationships play in these accomplishments. I see how good interaction, good team-work and the ability to communicate well can be the basis for great success.

Just this last weekend, I spoke at a reception for the Auckland Cancer Society Research Centre. This centre has achieved extraordinary success in the field of cancer research since its inception under difficult circumstances fifty years ago.

What struck me, apart from the sheer brilliance of the research, was the absolute commitment to teamwork. Here our country has a group of 80 researchers who are working together for the benefit of cancer sufferers around the world.

Their supportive professional environment encourages the researchers to work towards a common goal and they are achieving truly great things.

It was a wonderful example of the power of positive relationships in a professional context.

By extension, the same principals can be applied to all our interactions - either personal or professional. When people support each other, treat each other with respect and listen to each other, the benefits are endless.

I thank you for your absolute commitment to strengthening relationships in New Zealand and for giving New Zealanders the tools they need to relate well.

I am proud to be Patron of Relationship Services and I wish you all the best for your important work.

No reira, tena koutou, tena koutou, kia ora koutou katoa